So I’m flipping through the new CB2 catalog that just arrived, okay, (they obviously got the memo that bright yellow is the color of the year—it’s all over these pages), and came across some wack room set-ups that have me all kerfuffled. I can’t figure out what’s going on in this living room scenario—there’s a rotary phone, receiver off the hook, no phone cord. Was someone having a chat with her imaginary 1970s friend when she smelled fire from the kitchen? (“Hold on a sec, Willie, I’ve got cookies in the oven!”) And what’s that for dinner on page 11—a big plate of raw squid tentacles and about three pounds of lemons? Mmm, chewy. Just the thing after a hard day at the office. You’ll need a lot more than that wee carafe of pinot grigio to get the taste out of your mouth. Don’t even get me started on the bathtub full of glass balls and pearls…maybe that ugly tie-dyed shower curtain inspired the set dresser to light up one of those funny cigarettes. Don’t smoke and style, people. My head hurts.  

—BRADLEY LINCOLN