When a fan recently attacked the Blackhawks’ Tommy Hawk, the costumed creature didn’t just take the beating on the beak. He fought back with an attempted powerbomb. That got us thinking: How might other local mascots fare in a fight?
Benny the Bull
Strength:Horns. They can inflict some serious damage but …
Weakness:… could also easily wind up tangled in merch at a souvenir kiosk.
Lethality:
Squeeze the Mustard Bottle
Strength:Firepower. The Chicago Dogs mascot is essentially a giant mustard cannon.
Weakness:When running on empty, he must be tipped upside down and tapped on his bottom to get any remaining fight out.
Lethality:
Southpaw the … something?
Strength:Inscrutability. From the Sox website: “Some people think I’m an alligator, frog or even a dirty sock.” That sounds like an answer to a Jeopardy! question: “What are three things I hope to never find stuffed inside my pillow case?”
Weakness:Suffers from identity issues.
Lethality: