THE BLEACHERITE
Today I found the perfect way to watch a Chicago pro team play postseason baseball—by going to a pub in a ghostly, postapocalyptic Wrigleyville and watching NFL football. What I noticed, out of the corner of my eye, was that the Sox combined solid starting and relief pitching with (here’s the key) clutch hitting, and they lived to play another day. I hope the Cubs were taking notes.

THE CUBS HATER
Dye, Thome, Konerko, and Griffey have hit a total of 1,755 homers in their careers. Has any team ever had four guys in a row with more? This is obviously not a club built on guile and cunning, but rather broad chests and big bats—so you’ve got to love it when they somehow win their biggest game in three years with nary a long ball, instead relying on sacrifice flies, stolen bases, and Other Things They Haven’t Done All Year. This bodes well. It’s only a matter of time before the Sox let the lions out of the cage. Please, let it be tomorrow.

THE DELUSIONIST
I have no delusions about the Sox, but I’m glad they won a game. It’s a great way to kill time until the Cubs can get started on their next year’s team of destiny. They have funny rules in the American League, don’t they?

THE ELITIST
The Sox are not a great team, but in the past week, they have displayed more guts than the Cubs showed all year. It’s only one game, and I don’t see them turning this thing around, but today’s win was a nice one—a sweet gift for fans. But don’t expect much more.

THE FATALIST
Jeez, sorry, I missed the Sox game. Had a terrific opportunity to go shopping for bathroom fixtures with my wife at Home Depot, and you know how time can get away from you there! Catch the Sox next time!

THE GIRL
I fell asleep at the start of the game and had a dream about the Cubs playing baseball with—get this—a Tic-Tac. It’s infuriating that the feckless Cubs have now found a way to disturb me in my sleep. Anyway, I came to in the top of the sixth just in time to watch Danks fan a couple more Rays, and then have Dotel and Jenks close it out nicely. After the Northsiders were swept last night, I told The Cubs Hater that I was pulling for the Sox today—another sweep would be humiliating for this great city. Now that they got this win and avoided the ultimate embarrassment, I’m ready for it all to be over.

THE UMP
It’s stating the obvious, but I think it needs to be said: For all the hype about the Cubs this year, for all the talk of mystique and magic, best records, curses and karma, the grinding, modest, sometimes seemingly hopeless White Sox . . . had the better season. Who’d have thunk? Good on ’em.

THE TIME TRAVELER
Let’s see if I’ve got this right: Friday night, the Sox get two runs on twelve hits; this afternoon they get five runs on seven hits. If they can only keep getting fewer hits, they’ve got this series wrapped up. For today’s victory, I give thanks to DeWayne and Danks and Mr. Jenks. The future lies in the hands of Gavin Floyd, who’s slated to pitch for the Sox tomorrow. Tomorrow, tomorrow, and tomorrow—though if, like me, you Google that Shakespeare chestnut, you will find it reads more like a North Side lament than a battle cry from 35th & Shields.