Break out the Fitbit: Lolla is here, and you've got some hoofing to do.

With 140 bands spread across eight stages and 115 acres this weekend, the festival's notorious time-conflicts are as awful as ever. FKA Twigs blocks out TV on the Radio. Tame Impala competes with Tyler, the Creator. Bully eats into Gogol Bordello. And literal living legend Paul McCartney somehow engulfs Sylvan Esso, Kaskade, Big Once/Trentino, Flying Lotus, and The Weeknd—a conundrum this staff has met with a resounding ¯_(ツ)_/¯.

(In our defense, Sir Paul's crowd will probably stretch back a quarter-mile by dusk, and Flying Lotus is as bold an experimenter as he ever was.)

But Lollapalooza is your elephant to eat, and it should be taken down in as many bites as you please. Here's how five Chicago writers plan to traverse the untraversable. Parrot us by the hour or disregard at will—either way, you're going to see some stars.

• Friday
• Saturday
• Sunday

	Carrie Schedler	Elly Fishman	Britt Julious	Matt Pollock	Tomi Obaro
	Lolla dream drinking buddy: Bully singer Alicia Bognanno, to tell her how great she was at Pitchfork @carrieschedler	Lolla dream drinking buddy: Tallest Man on Earth, because who doesn't want to talk about fjords? @elly33	Lolla must-see act: FKA Twigs. "She's truly elevated her live experience to a form of art." @britticisms	Lolla dream drinking buddy: Metallica (with the hair) @mattypollock	Lolla must-see act: Alabama Shakes. "Brittany Howard's voice gives me chills." @tomiobaro