All the fun with 100 percent fewer animal byproducts (thanks to margarine), this overstuffed version comes closest to mimicking the real deal. The supersweet PB&J flavor—with a glob of creamy peanut butter, strawberry jam, and vanilla bean glaze—is utterly lunchbox-worthy. 1408 W. Diversey Pkwy., 773-857-2989

If your teeth ache at the mere thought of a jam-filled, sugar-topped pastry, look to this savory Greek-ish version for relief. It’s stuffed with chopped spinach and feta and encased by a golden shell that glimmers with butter. It’s spanakopita in a Pop-Tart’s clothing. 553 W. Diversey Pkwy., 773-234-2320

Available in four flavors—the tastiest on a recent visit was vanilla-glazed strawberry—these slim vessels pack chunky preserves inside a wonderfully flaky pastry. The best part? The imperfect lumpy shape and candy-colored icing speak directly to your inner eight-year-old. 2008 N. Halsted St., 773-698-7739

A brunch menu sleeper, this snack is a balanced combo of tangy raspberry jam and deep, dark Valrhona Manjari chocolate that works as both starter and dessert. A dome of crisp, airy pastry forgoes frosting or glaze in favor of pale sugar crystals. Glamorous? No. Adroitly executed? Absolutely. 1227 W. 18th St., 312-526-3851

This menu staple is a loose interpretation at best. A pancake-like wrap envelops seasonal housemade preserves (currently strawberry-rhubarb), oozy mascarpone, and vanilla-scented roasted walnuts. Dubbed the Grown-Up Pop Tart, it sure ain’t suitable for a kiddo’s taste buds. 3552 N. Southport Ave., 773-665-0100