My downstairs neighbor got locally famous for the groaner dad jokes he posted in his window during the pandemic (“How does Moses make the coffee? Hebrews it”), but for my money, whoever lives near the intersection of Glenwood and Albion took the cake for pandemic sidewalk distractions: a pair of plastic pink flamingos in surgical masks clutching remarkably real-looking laptop screens depicting a Zoom call (with other flamingos, naturally). Not long after that, I walked by again and the birds were browsing Amazon. In their cart: Pastabilities flamingo-shaped all-natural wheat pasta.