■ I was the best shortstop in baseball for a little while. A lot of players were making more money than me. I never cared. If you want to make money no matter the cost, you will do stupid stuff that gets you in trouble. Most of my friends I grew up with died or they’re in jail because they wanted to make money.

■ I remember where I came from in Venezuela. I didn’t have money. I didn’t have a house. I didn’t have anything. My parents got divorced when I was 10. I lived in a correctional school for two years. God gave me the opportunity to come to the United States at 16. I didn’t want to go back to what I was.

■ Winning the World Series in 2005 was the worst thing that ever happened to me. Because as soon as you do that with only two years as a manager in the big leagues, then what are you going to do after that? From now on, you suck no matter what.

■ You win, they love you. You lose, they hate you. As easy as that.

■ In this country, the more honest you are, the more problems you get. I said that Alex Rodriguez was not supposed to be on the Dominican team because he’s not Dominican, and they made it a big deal. I said, “I love Fidel Castro,” and they made it a big deal. Well, I admired Fidel Castro. That’s the right word. I admired him because that motherfucker was a badass. Everybody wanted his head, and he was still there for 60 years.

■ My people took Twitter away from me three years ago. I was in Venezuela and told the president of the country, “You know where I live. Show up to my house, just you and me. I will kick your fucking ass.” My friends are like, “No more tweets from you.”

■ I was in Anaheim having lunch with my youngest kid in a mall court. These kids show up, and their dad says, “Hey, this is Ozzie Guillen.” The kids say, “Whoa, the crazy guy?” I look at my son’s face, and he’s like, “Please don’t fucking say anything.” I start laughing. I signed an autograph for them.

■ I’m the luckiest man for one reason: I married the right one. In my house, I’m the yes man.

■ I’m not allowed to smell like cigars in my house. I got to get undressed in the goddamn garage, get butt-naked, and head straight to the shower.

■ People think, Oh my God, this guy loves baseball. I don’t. Not the way I used to. The reason I loved baseball is because I got paid for it.

■ I love bullfights. I’ve got more friends in bullfighting than in baseball. But American people don’t like bullfights because they can’t bet on them. People criticize killing animals. I don’t blame them. But I’ve seen my teammates killing deer. At least the bull has a chance to kill the guy that’s going to kill him.

■ I grew up in a bad family and never cried. I won the World Series two times and never cried. But I cry now that I have a granddaughter. For real. Like, estúpido. I drop her off at school every day and she’s going, “Abuelo!” — “grandpa.” And tears are coming down my face.