Marlene Ricketts, matriarch of the family that owns the Cubs, has given $4 million to the anti-Trump super-PAC Our Principles, with another $1 million coming from her husband, Ameritrade founder Joe Ricketts. Donald Trump responded as you might expect—with a snippy and transparently farcical threat.

I'll start spending on them. I'll start taking ads telling them all what a rotten job they're doing with the Chicago Cubs. I mean, they are spending on me. I mean, so am I allowed to say that?

Except the Cubs won 97 games last year—and then they got better, at the expense of their division rivals, and they're coming into 2016 as the favorites to win the World Series and arguably the best team in baseball. And they've done this with relative efficiency: the Dodgers, who otherwise have the best claim to the most promising team coming into 2016, have a payroll that's 50 percent higher than the Cubs. Meanwhile, they had baseball’s sixth-best attendance in 2015, enough to justify a 10 percent increase in ticket prices.

But none of that really matters in politics, especially this year, and especially with Trump's post-sense campaign. Seeing as there's a lot of dumb money out there and the standards for attack ads are perilously low, I thought I'd try my hand. It's not like it can get worse.