The next time you ride the L, the bus or the Metra, you might want to carry a gun.

As we all know by now, a 30-year-old man named Rhanni Davis boarded a Blue Line train early Labor Day morning and shot three sleeping passengers at the Forest Park stop. Then he walked over to the next car and shot one more. 

It’s against the law to carry a firearm onto public transportation in Illinois, but when lunatics like Davis are blowing away innocent riders, why shouldn’t the rest of us be able to defend ourselves? 

Maybe we can.

Last Friday, just three days before the Blue Line murders, a federal judge in Rockford ruled that it is unconstitutional to prohibit concealed carry holders from bringing their guns onto public buses or trains. The defendants, who included Attorney General Kwame Raoul and Cook County State’s Attorney Kim Foxx, “failed to meet their burden to show an American tradition of firearm regulation at the time of the Founding that would allow Illinois to prohibit Plaintiffs — who hold concealed carry permits — from carrying concealed handguns for self-defense onto the CTA and Metra,” wrote Judge Iain Johnston, a Trump appointee.

In other words, the Founding Fathers thought it was OK to carry a flintlock pistol onto a stagecoach, so it must be OK to carry a 17-round SIG Sauer P365X Macro Tacops 9mm on the Red Line, the Blue Line, or a standing-room only 22 Clark Street bus. So far, the ruling only applies to the four plaintiffs, but given the conservative bent of today’s federal courts, it could soon apply to all of us.

“This is an important ruling regarding locations where law-abiding persons have too often been vulnerable,” said the plaintiffs’ attorney, David Sigale.

The trains aren’t just dangerous, they’re annoying. Think of how much more civil they could become with a well-regulated militia on board. That beggar who appears through a door at the far end of the train and begins shouting, “I don’t mean no harm, but I wonder if you could help me out with a few dollars to get something to eat.” Fire a round into the roof and he’ll move onto the next train. The migrant woman with the baby on her back, selling gum and candy. Lift up the hem of your jacket to show her your piece, and she’ll pester somebody else. A law-abiding gun owner could certainly persuade the shell game hustlers to give back their “winnings.” Before long, from Howard Street on the north to 95th Street on the south, from Lake Street on the east to Harlem Avenue on the west, we’ll all be able to spend an entire L trip staring at our phones in peace, as God intended us to ride.

Decades ago, Chicago Sun-Times columnist Mike Royko predicted how safe an armed ridership would make the CTA: 

We are always reading about crime on public transportation systems in big cities. Muggers grabbing purses or gold chains. Degenerates whispering lewd romantic overtures to defenseless ladies. Idle teenagers leaping about, shouting and throwing French fries at helpless travelers. In almost every case, the victims and bystanders feel powerless to defend themselves.

Ah, but if everyone on the bus were packing a gun, it would be different. Somebody snatches a purse. A cry: “That man snatched my purse!” Suddenly 30 or 40 guns are whipped out of pockets, purses, holsters, shopping bags, and briefcases, and everyone begins blazing away.

Indeed, states that respect the Second Amendment are far ahead of us in public transportation safety. You’ve never heard of anyone getting killed on an elevated train in Alaska or Wyoming.

Of course, there is the question of equity. That aforementioned Sig Sauer pistol costs $899. Should self-defense only be available to those with that kind of cash to spare? Of course not. Davis chose his victims because he knew they were poor, vulnerable and defenseless. All were unhoused. Unhoused people can’t afford guns. To give everyone an equal chance of surviving an L ride, conductors should hand out weapons to random passengers — the poorer-looking, the better. The guns, of course, would be turned in at the end of the ride, and passed on to new passengers. The problem with Judge Johnston’s ruling is that concealed carry holders don’t typically ride the L. They get around in Hummers, or Ford F350 pickup trucks.

Mayor Brandon Johnson’s administration is all about fairness, so he should be able to find the money for a few hundred guns, even with a $223 million budget deficit. After all, what’s more important than public safety?